The Human Body Is A Whole—Read It That Way
• Body language signals cannot be interpreted in isolation. Rather, first seek a baseline of behavior to help interpret a particular new observation – a baseline helps you identify incongruent behavior and spot a deception.
• Look for mirroring, pay attention to overall energy, and remember that body language is dynamic, so you need to gather as much data as possible. Then consider this data in context of history and the current environment.
• The voice is a part of the human body and speed, timbre, volume, pitch, and degree of control can signify emotional state. The body is a whole, with verbal and nonverbal mingling together.
• Reading “message clusters” helps us organize isolated observations, and note whether they are aggressive, romantic, assertive, deceptive ad so on, in aggregate.
#Aggression #Assertive #Clusters #Context #Deceit #Deceptive #DondersInstitute #HumanBody #Nonverbal #PaulEkman #PNAS #Pouw #Submissive #TheHumanBodyIsAWhole—ReadItThatWay #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Transcript
[Music] hello listeners welcome back to social skills coaching where you learn
Speaker:to be more likable more charismatic and more productive today is Tuesday January 17 2023.
Speaker:if you've been biding your time since the beginning of the year today is The Unofficial
Speaker:ditch New Year's resolution day congratulations
Speaker:in today's book how to extract info secrets and truth from Patrick King and in many other
Speaker:episodes we've talked about the specifics of body language which way the feet are pointing are the
Speaker:arms open or closed what about eye contact and so on but it's important to remember that these
Speaker:individual signals in body language can't be taken individually at face value as it were let's listen
Speaker:further on how to get the whole picture foreign It’s worth remembering right off the bat that
Speaker:detecting deception is not as straightforward as some would have you believe and, as we’ve seen,
Speaker:not as simple as spotting a tell-tale sign that proves a lie once and for all.
Speaker:Laypeople and professionals alike are notoriously bad at reading body language,
Speaker:despite the wealth of information we now have on the topic.
Speaker:But the knack really comes in deciding what to do with certain observations once you’ve made them.
Speaker:Does a person’s folded arms mean they’re lying,
Speaker:unhappy about something, fearful ... or just feeling cold?
Speaker:The trick comes in using not just one or two but a
Speaker:whole host of clues and tells to form a more comprehensive picture of behavior.
Speaker:The reason why it’s so difficult to “spot a lie” with perfect accuracy is
Speaker:that the gestures and expressions associated with
Speaker:deception are often not different from those signifying stress or discomfort.
Speaker:So given all this, is it worth learning to read body language?
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:Adding this extra dimension to your interactions with others will only enrich your relationships
Speaker:and give you extra insight into your interpersonal conflicts and tensions.
Speaker:Knowing what’s going on with another person allows you to be a better communicator and
Speaker:speak to what people are actually feeling rather than what they’re merely saying.
Speaker:Body language signals are always there.
Speaker:Every person is communicating nonverbally, at every moment of the day.
Speaker:And it is possible to not only observe this
Speaker:information in real-time but learn to properly synthesize and interpret it.
Speaker:You don’t need to be an expert, and you don’t need to be perfect.
Speaker:You just need to pay attention and be curious about your fellow
Speaker:human beings in a way you might not have before.
Speaker:As you’re developing your body language reading skills,
Speaker:it may help to keep a few key principles in mind:
Speaker:Establish normal behavior.
Speaker:One or two gestures in a conversation don’t mean much.
Speaker:They could be accidental or purely physiological.
Speaker:But the more you know how someone “normally” behaves, the more you
Speaker:can assume that any behavior outside of this is worth looking more closely at.
Speaker:If someone always squints their eyes, pouts, jiggles their feet,
Speaker:or clears their throat, you can more or less discount these gestures.
Speaker:Look for unusual or incongruent behavior.
Speaker:Reading people is about reading patterns of behavior.
Speaker:Pay special attention to clues that are unusual for that person.
Speaker:Suddenly fiddling with the hair and avoiding eye contact could tell you something is going on,
Speaker:especially if this person never does either of these things normally.
Speaker:You may with time come to recognize “tells” in people closest to you—they
Speaker:may always wrinkle their nose when being dishonest
Speaker:or clear their throat excessively when they’re afraid and pretending not to be.
Speaker:Importantly, pay close attention to those gestures and movements that seem incongruous.
Speaker:Discrepancies between verbal and nonverbal communication can tell
Speaker:you more than merely observing nonverbal communication alone.
Speaker:It’s about context.
Speaker:An obvious example is someone wringing their hands, rubbing their temples,
Speaker:and sighing loudly but who claims, “I’m fine.
Speaker:Nothing’s wrong."
Speaker:It’s not the gestures that tell you this person is concealing distress,
Speaker:but the fact that they’re incongruent with the words spoken.
Speaker:Gather plenty of data.
Speaker:As we’ve seen, certain constricting behaviors could merely be because one is cold, tired,
Speaker:or even ill, and expansive gestures may not be about confidence so much
Speaker:as feeling physically warm and wanting to cool off.
Speaker:This is why it’s important to never interpret a gesture alone.
Speaker:Always consider clusters of clues.
Speaker:If you see something, note it but don’t come to any conclusions immediately.
Speaker:Look to see if they do it again.
Speaker:Look for other gestures that may reinforce what
Speaker:you’ve seen or else give evidence for the opposite interpretation.
Speaker:Check to see if the behavior repeats itself with other people or in other contexts.
Speaker:Take your time to really analyze the whole of what’s in front of you.
Speaker:Look for mirroring.
Speaker:An important thing to remember is that certain gestures may mean one thing in one context or
Speaker:when shown to one person but have a different meaning in another context or with someone else.
Speaker:In other words, certain gestures could literally only apply to you as you speak to this person.
Speaker:If you’re not very familiar with someone, a quick body language–reading shortcut is
Speaker:to merely notice whether they are or are not mirroring your gestures, whatever they are.
Speaker:Mirroring is a fundamental human instinct; we tend to match and mimic the behavior and expressions of
Speaker:those we like or agree with, while we don’t if we dislike a person or perceive them negatively.
Speaker:If you’re in a meeting with a new client, you may notice that no matter how friendly
Speaker:your voice or how often you smile and make open-handed, warm gestures,
Speaker:they respond with coldness and closed gestures, failing to mirror back to you your optimism.
Speaker:Here, the gestures themselves are irrelevant; it’s the fact that they are not shared which
Speaker:shows you that the person you’re dealing with is unreceptive, hostile, or threatened.
Speaker:Pay attention to energy.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: : some fluffy, esoteric idea: :in a group, simply take note of where intention, effort, and focus are being concentrated.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Watch where energy flows.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Sometimes, the “leader” of a group is only so in name; the real power may lie elsewhere.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :One only needs to look at how much focus and attention flows
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :toward a baby in the room to see this in action—the baby says and does very
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :little yet nevertheless commands the attention of everyone there.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Similarly, a family may have the father as the official “leader,” and he may
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :gesture and talk loudly to cement this perception.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :But pay attention and you may see that it’s his wife who is constantly deferred to,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :and every member of the family may show with their body language that
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :it is in fact their mother’s needs that take precedence, despite what’s claimed verbally.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :The most powerful voice in a room is not necessarily the loudest.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :A lot can be understood about the power dynamics in a group by watching to see where energy flows.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Who speaks the most?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Who are people always speaking to, and how?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Who always seems to take “center stage”?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Remember that body language is dynamic.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :When we speak, the content of our language isn’t just
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :about the words and the grammar we use to string them together.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :It’s about how we talk.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Do we say a lot or a little?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :What tone of voice?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Are sentences long and complicated or short and terse?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Is everything phrased tentatively, like a question, or is it stated confidently,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :as though it’s a known fact?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :What’s the speed of delivery?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :How loud?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Is it clear or mumbling?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :In the same way that verbal information can vary in the way it’s communicated,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :nonverbal information can vary too.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Gestures are not static, fixed things but living expressions that move in time and space.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Watch the flow of information in real-time.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Watch how expressions change and move in response to the environment and those in it.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Don’t be curious about “catching” a discreet gesture,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :but rather watch the flow of gestures as they change.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :For example, look at how a person walks.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Walking is like a body posture but set in motion.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Shuffling, slow gaits suggest lack of confidence, while springy,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :quick ones suggest optimism and excitement.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Become interested in how a person responds to others in conversation
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :or their style of talking to those in positions of power.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Once you start looking, you’ll be amazed at
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :the wealth of information that’s just waiting there to be noticed.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Context is everything.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Finally, it bears repeating: no gesture occurs in a vacuum.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Nonverbal communication needs to be considered in relation
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :to everything else—just like verbal communication.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Establish patterns and learn about a person’s behavior over time,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :in different contexts, and toward different people.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Consider the situation and environment—sweating and stuttering during your wedding vows or
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :a big interview is understandable; doing so when asked to explain what
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :you’re doing snooping through someone’s drawers is a little more suspicious.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Remember that everyone has their own unique, idiosyncratic personality.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Factor into your analysis the fact that people are either introverted or extroverted,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :may favor emotions or intellect, may have high or low tolerance
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :for risk and adversity, may thrive in stressful situations or wither in them,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :and may be spontaneous and casual or goal-directed and rather serious.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Our instinctual, evolutionarily programmed impulses can’t be hidden or resisted,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :but they can take on slightly different forms depending on our unique personalities.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Admittedly, reading facial expressions and body
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :language is a skill that takes time and patience to master.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :There are no quick and easy tricks to understanding people’s deeper motivations.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :However, remember the above principles and focus on honing your powers of observation,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :and you’ll soon develop a knack for seeing and understanding even tiny
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :ripples and flutters of behavior you might have previously missed.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :We live in a world dominated by words and language.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :But when you become a student of nonverbal communication, it’s no exaggeration to say
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :that you open yourself up to an entirely different, sometimes quite strange world.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :The Human Body is a Whole—Read It that Way
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Everyone has heard an offhand statistic which sounds a little
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :something like, “Ninety percent of your communication is really nonverbal."
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :We imagine that communication is primarily a question of language,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :symbols, noises and sounds, and images on a page,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :whereas the person creating the language is a separate physical entity occupying space.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :But in reality, the boundary between verbal and non-verbal,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :medium and message, is always a little blurred.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :In the previous sections, we’ve explicitly considered how a person
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :can be “read” even beyond the content they are choosing to deliberately convey to you.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :In other words, you’re not just listening to the message they’re sending, but listening to them,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :as though their body itself were something to read and interpret.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :In the discussion on detecting deceit or hidden true feelings, we made an assumption: that what
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :is inside a person will invariably manifest itself somehow on the outside of a person.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :This is because we instinctively understand that human beings are wholes,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :i.e., the verbal and nonverbal are really just different aspects of the same thing.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :What really is the distinction between the words and the lips that say them?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :The body and the gesture that the body makes?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :This may seem a little abstract, but it turns out
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :there’s now interesting research to back up the idea that communication
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :as a whole can be understood as a complete expression of a human being.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :First of all, have you ever had a phone call
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :with someone where you could instantly tell whether they were smiling or not?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Call center managers will tell their staff that people can “hear smiles” over the phone,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :but how do you suppose this is actually possible?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :It makes sense when we consider that a voice is not an abstract symbol,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :but a real, physiological part of the human body.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Researcher at the Donders Institute of Radboud University Wim Pouw published
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :some interesting findings in the PNAS journal in 2020.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :He was interested in the topic we all seem to instinctively understand:
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :that hand gestures and facial expressions can help us better understand what is being
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :communicated—in fact at times a gesture can be fundamental to us understanding the message.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :In an experiment, Pouw asked six people to make a simple noise (like “aaaaa”)
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :but to pair it with different arm and hand gestures as they spoke.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :He then asked thirty other participants to listen to recordings of the sounds only.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Surprisingly, the participants were able to guess what the accompanying
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :movements were and even mimic them for themselves.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :They could say what the movement was,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :where it was performed and even how quickly the gesture was made!
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :How?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Pouw’s theory is that people are able to unconsciously detect subtle but important
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :shifts in voice pitch and volume, as well as speed changes, that accompany different gestures.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :When you make a gesture, your whole body gets involved, including your voice.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :In other words, when you hear a voice, you are hearing multiple aspects about that person’s body.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :When speaking, sound vibrates all through the connective tissues of your body,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :but differences in muscle tension can arise if we are making gestures
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :with other parts of our body, and we can hear these tiny adjustments in the voice.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :The great thing about this particular skill is
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :that you don’t necessarily need to train it, just become aware of it.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :You probably never thought you could practice reading body language over the phone,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :but you can—if you understand that the voice is simply a part of a person’s body!
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Voice alone is an incredibly rich aspect of behavior to study.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :When you hear someone from another room, on a recording or over the phone, close your
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :eyes and imagine what their body is doing, and what that posture or gesture might indicate.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :You can undoubtedly hear age and sex through voice, too, but you can also infer something
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :about a person’s ethnicity or nationality by listening to their accent or vocabulary.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Listen to the speed, timbre, volume, pitch and degree of control used.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :How is the person breathing?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :How are their words and the way they’re saying those words reinforcing one another,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :or perhaps undermining one another?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :For example someone on the phone might be telling you how excited they are about something,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :but their slow and sluggish voice may suggest to you that they’re
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :slouching and folded in on themselves—and greatly overstating their excitement.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Thinking in Terms of Message Clusters
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Let’s shift our attention away from individual
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :physical actions that may or not mean or suggest something else,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :and instead consider human behavior in terms of the overall message it communicates to others.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :If we are feeling hostile and aggressive, for example, this attitude and intention will
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :show up in every area, from our language to our actions to our facial expressions to our voice.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Rather than trying to imagine what every possible manifestation of aggression looks like,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :we can focus on the aggression itself, and watch for resulting clusters of behavior.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Aggression is understandably shown by confronting gestures,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :or those that move actively and energetically towards a target.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Invasive, approaching gestures that move in on another person can
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :signify an attempt to dominate, control or attack.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Verbally, this could look like an insult or a jeer, physically it looks like standing too close,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :or even displaying or exposing oneself as if to demonstrate superior strength.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Aggression is all about sudden, impactful and targeted gestures.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :It’s as though the entire body is clenched around a single pointed intention.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Assertive body language, on the other hand, is as forceful but not so directed.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :This is a person standing their ground, i.e.,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :being firm, balanced, smooth and open in expression of a confidently held desire.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :The aggressive person may yell, whereas an assertive one may simply state their business
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :with a kind of muscular certainty that can be heard in the voice.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Submissive body language is the complement—look for “lowering,”
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :self-protective gestures that make the person seems smaller, with small,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :appeasing gestures like smiling excessively, being motionless,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :speaking quietly, turning the eyes downward or assuming a vulnerable or non-threatening stance.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :This is different from being genuinely open and receptive.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Relaxed, friendly people will signal looseness—open and uncrossed arms and legs,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :unguarded facial expressions, easy speech,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :or even loosening or removing outer layers of clothing to show informality.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :This is a little like romantic body language,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :except someone who is sexually interested will also behave in ways that emphasize intimacy.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :The focus will be on sensuality (touching the other person or the self, preening,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :stroking, slowing down, warm smiles) and connection (prolonged eye contact,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :questions, agreement, mirroring).
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :The overwhelming perception is that of an invitation to close distance.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Deceptive body language is anything that is characterized by a sense of tension.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Deceit is the existence of two conflicting things—for example
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :someone believes one thing but says another.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Look for the tension that such a disparity creates.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :You want to look for anxiety, closed body language, and a sense of distractedness
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :(after all, they are processing extra data they don’t want to reveal to you!).
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Look for someone who appears to be trying hard to control themselves, with an anxious effect.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :By looking at intentions behind overall communication,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :we can start to read the body as a whole.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :This makes it easier to gather multiple data points more quickly, and find patterns of
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :behavior rather than inferring too much from just a single gesture or expression.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Consider the entire human body—the limbs, the face, the voice, the posture,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :the torso, the clothing, the hair, the hands and fingers, everything.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Can you see a cluster of closed off, defensive gestures?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Is someone trying to display power, strength and dominance?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Or are they just confident?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Is the person in front of you trying to show that they are trustworthy,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :or that they have a truly valuable thing to sell you (salesman’s body language) or
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :that they are greeting you with openness and respect?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :In very general terms, look for the following whole body patterns:
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :•Crossing, closing in, or shutting off – could signal guardedness, suspicion, shyness
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :•Expanding, opening, loosening – signals friendliness, comfort, trust, relaxation
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :•Forward, pointed, directed – may speak to dominance, control, persuasiveness
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :•Preening, touching, stroking – shows romantic intentions
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :•Striking, abruptness, force, loudness – signal energy or violence, sometimes fear
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :•Repeating, agreement, mirroring – shows respect, friendliness, admiration, submission
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :In an even broader sense, look at overall behavior and communication
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :as an expression of holding—holding on to, holding in, holding up, holding back,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :failing to hold, holding tightly, etc.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :If you meet someone whose entire being seems to be an expression of force and control (holding onto),
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :you can take your interpretation of them from here, and better understand all the smaller
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :data points—the hand wringing, the tightened and pursed lips, the furrowed brow, the shallow
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :breathing that seems to strangle the voice, the high pitched tone, the rapid blinking ...
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Their body is sending you one clear, uniform message: one of tension.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :There’s something big going on that they’re trying hard to keep under wraps.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Further context clues could tell you whether this is an uncomfortable admission,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :a lie, or simply something they’re embarrassed about sharing with you.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Wrapping up, how can we read and analyze people just through sight and observation?
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :We have covered two primary aspects: facial expressions and body language.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :It’s important to note that though many aspects have been scientifically proven
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :(with physiological origins), we can’t say that simple observations are foolproof.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :It can never be definitive because there are too many external factors to take into account.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :But we can better understand what typical things to look for and what we can glean from them.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :We use two types of facial expressions: micro- and macroexpressions.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Macroexpressions are larger, slower, and more obvious.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :They are also routinely faked and consciously created.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Microexpressions are the opposite of all of those things: incredibly quick,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :almost unperceivable, and unconscious.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Psychologist Paul Ekman identified a host of microexpressions for each of
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :the six basic emotions and in particular has also identified microexpressions to
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :indicate nervousness, lying, or deception.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Body language has a much broader range of possible interpretations.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Generally, a relaxed body takes up space,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :while an anxious body contracts and wants to conceal and comfort itself.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :There are too many specifics to list individually,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :but just keep in mind that the only true way to analyze body language is to first know exactly
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :what someone is like when they are normal – and then compare back to that baseline.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :To put everything together, we need to read the body as a whole,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :and look for general clusters of behavior that work together to communicate a unified message.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :The voice can be read like other body language.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Look for signs or cues that are incongruent and don’t mesh well
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :with the other cues they’re giving, this might reveal that the other person is
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :trying to hide something if you can notice other cues that reaffirm this conclusion.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :However, as always, the signs you’ve picked up on could well be meaningless,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :so make sure you have enough data to support them.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :People who have mastered the art of observation are like detectives,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :simultaneously gathering as much data as possible that they then constantly sift through,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :looking for broad, overall patterns that explain the whole picture in front of them.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :People are complex and constantly shifting and responding to their environment.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :But if you take the time to pay attention to how they engage with
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :that environment – in all ways – you may surprise yourself with what you can learn.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :In the next chapter, we’ll be looking at ways to not just observe behavior,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :but to actively influence it using the power of targeted questions.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Takeaways
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :•Body language signals cannot be interpreted in isolation.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Rather, first seek a baseline of behavior to help interpret a particular new
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :observation – a baseline helps you identify incongruent behavior and spot a deception.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :•Look for mirroring, pay attention to overall energy,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :and remember that body language is dynamic, so you need to gather as much data as possible.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Then consider this data in context of history and the current environment.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :•The voice is a part of the human body and speed,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :timbre, volume, pitch, and degree of control can signify emotional state.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :The body is a whole, with verbal and nonverbal mingling together.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :•Reading “message clusters” helps us organize isolated observations,
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :and note whether they are aggressive, romantic, assertive, deceptive ad so on, in aggregate.
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :[Music] this has been social skills coaching I'm Russell founder of Newton
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :Media Group and producer of social skills coaching you can find us at newtonmg.com
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :if you have any feedback on today's episode or the podcast in general
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :please email podcast newtonmg I'd love to hear from you join us again next week
some fluffy, esoteric idea: :for more tips and tricks on how to be more likable more charismatic and more productive
