Goal-Oriented Communication

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,: 2023

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Make of that what you will. Today's episode is the final episode from Patrick King's book Communication Skills Training how to talk to anyone, speak with clarity, and handle any situation. So far, we've focused on listening, validation and ways to resolve conflict and misunderstanding. These are without a doubt the heavy lifters when it comes to learning to communicate better cultivate a sense of charisma and charm, and deepen interpersonal connections of all kinds. But in certain contexts, for example, in business or in education, you don't just want to master receiving a message. You want to create your own message and make sure that it lands on its audience with the most influence and impact possible. In other words, there are times when you'll want to persuade someone. To put it very simply, persuasion is trying to change someone's mind. A big part of being a masterful communicator is learning to genuinely receive, read and understand other people and get inside their perspectives.

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In this final chapter, we'll be looking at our perspectives and exactly how we can communicate them so that others adopt them for themselves. All communication has a purpose, and at some point that purpose will be to actively influence our audience. Whether that's a single person reading our email, a team of our peers, or a hall filled with thousands of people. The golden rule in persuasive communication is surprise, surprise to know your audience. Luckily, in learning the previous chapter's, skills of listening, validating reading, body language, et cetera, we've already gone some way to doing this. Before we continue, it's worth saying that persuasive communication does not mean manipulation. It means the artful and deliberate use of language to convey our meaning in a way that best achieves our purpose. It's an art that traces back to Aristotle and arguably back even further to the very dawn of human communication. We might even guess that the primary reason for communication evolving in the first place as a tool by which to influence and affect one another.

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Almost: 2000

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We find it believable. We're persuaded by mastery and knowledge, which we assume belong to people who are in the know or who possess the right or the experience to speak on a certain topic. It's not just about qualifications or titles, however. A mother of nine's perspective on childbirth will tend to have more credibility than a random man's. However, that man, if he is, for example, a world renowned obstetrician, may have as much or more credibility on certain aspects of childbirth at least. Ethos is a question of reputation, authority and trustworthiness. It's about the social standing and knowledge of the person speaking, rather than just the words they're saying. Marketers use this mode of persuasion when they dress an actor in a white lab coat and make him stand in front of a board covered with scientific looking diagrams and charts in order to sell you toothpaste. A motivational speaker may successfully use and appeal to authority in the same way, showcasing certain clothing styles, postures, ways of speaking, and attitudes that convey their authority to speak on their topic.

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Indeed, many gurus and cult leaders have so mastered an appealed to ethos that whatever they say is perceived with reverence and credibility simply because of the way they've presented that appeal and how they've positioned themselves as experts, whether they are or not. Examples of ethos a doctor promoting a certain brand of cigarette in an ad, a well connected older celebrity talking about the problems in the film industry. An older and wiser mentor giving you advice in your career. Two Pathos an appeal to pathos is entirely different. Pathos is about emotional persuasion and considering how easy it is for emotion to override duty or logic. This mode can be very powerful indeed. But it's perhaps because of how easy it is to use that this form of persuasion is usually less respected than other forms. Think about a cheesy advert for an animal charity that obviously and blatantly pulls on your heartstrings. The audience may feel sorry about the images of sad puppies and kittens, but they're also keenly aware of the emotional manipulation, which means that the tactic could just as easily backfire.

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But when pathos is used well, it works well. It requires that the speaker has a deep and sophisticated understanding of who their audience actually is, what their desires are, and what their deepest needs could be. Then they speak to that. If the audience is known to value, for example, freedom and independence, then the argument is framed in these terms. The speaker might choose to frame their argument or narrative in terms that speak to these values, driving home the point that all freethinking and autonomous individuals can't help but come to the very same conclusion they have. Of course, if your audience is also intelligent, they may sniff out the irony in this. On the other hand, you might want to speak to your audience's emotion so that you can counter it. For example, an inspiring speaker may keenly understand the fear and uncertainty the audience may be feeling, but choose words that counteract that unwanted emotion and inspire another emotion. In this case, let's say courage and decisiveness.

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The speaker will be really successful at inducing this state of courageousness if she understands the emotional position her audience is starting out at. When you use pathos, you're not constructing an argument or making a point based on logic, facts and morals. You are appealing solely to the way people feel. If a lawyer wants the jury not to vote against his client, he'll try to cultivate feelings of pity, compassion, and forgiveness. Or if the lawyer for the other side wants to achieve the opposite, he'll try to speak to feelings of anger and injustice in the jury. Examples of Pathos a picture of a crying refugee child in an activist campaign with an appeal for donations. Beneath it, someone getting their way by playing cute or being sexy. A YouTube thumbnail with bold yellow letters they're lying to you. Three logos.

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Finally, the appeal to logos is an appeal to logic or rationality. Or, and this is important, the appearance of logic and rationality, an argument presented with research to back it up, and a logical, internally consistent argument to make its point is making an appeal to logos. Anytime you bring up proof, evidence, reasoning, facts and figures, or even common sense, you are appealing to logos. One broad type of argument you can make is one that rests on deductive reasoning. This is essentially the scientific method. You start out with a tentative theory to explain something. This inspires a hypothesis. You do an experiment or make observations, and depending on what you find, you come to conclusions. You begin with the broad and general and deduce the specific.

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Incidentally, this is not the form of reasoning most used by Sherlock Holmes. A simple example of deductive reasoning is all Greeks are philosophers. Premise one. Aristotle is Greek. Premise two therefore, Aristotle is a philosopher. Conclusion as you can see, deductive reasoning is about the form of the argument, not the content. The above argument is valid, I. E. It follows logically in structure, but it isn't sound, since the premises are not true. For an argument to be sound, both the premises and the conclusion need to be true.

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An argument can be valid, however, without either premises or conclusion being true. Inductive reasoning goes the other direction, I. E. It uses specific observations to move to a more general theory or principle. For example, every Greek person I've met so far has been a philosopher. Therefore, this person I've just met, who is Greek, is probably also a philosopher. Of course, the quality of the conclusion in an inductive argument rests on the quality of the observations. If you've only ever met two Greeks in your life, for example, your conclusion is quite a weak one. You can recognize an appeal to logic by reference to science, to rationality, or to facts and figures, or again, the appearance of such things.

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Examples of logos a government funded pamphlet that says one out of every five students reports being bullied at school. A doctor releases a paper on sulfites in the diet, and it's published in a journal. A woman wearing a pantsuit and a lanyard asks people in a hotel lobby to move somewhere else, and they do. Four Cairos cairos is the fourth of Aristotle's modes and one that might be a little harder to understand from a modern perspective. Cairos can be broadly translated to mean opportunity or right time. In Greek, this is an appeal that rests heavily on when it's made. I e. It's about identifying the perfect moment to launch the message. Sometimes your audience is most receptive after a particular event or realization.

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If you present your case, then it has the best chance of being received. For example, politicians often wait for some negative event to pounce with a preprepared message that the public will be far more willing to accept than if it had been proposed at any other time. Likewise, you might wait for a friend to be in a calm, relaxed state of mind before broaching a delicate topic with them. Cairos is about appropriateness. It's about being aware of who your audience is, where and when you're addressing them, and in what context. How are people currently feeling? What came before? What is the environment, and how does this impact the degree to which people can hear and understand you? Examples of kairos advertising wrinkle cream to people in the weeks leading up to their birthdays.

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Going to console your crush right after they've broken up with their current partner. Addressing a room full of parents. You start your speech with a sweet joke about your four year old nephew using the four modes of persuasion. It's not that any of the four modes is better or more effective than any other. It's more a question of knowing your audience and knowing exactly which mode will work best for them that's important. It's not about which mode fits you best or fits your message best. It's about putting your message in a form that your audience is most likely to hear and register. The skill of a great and persuasive orator then is not about how well they can communicate, but how well they can communicate to their chosen audience. Let's consider an example.

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Let's say in your workplace. You're trying to make a case for using some newly available funds to get everyone signed up for a training course. Since others have their own ideas for what to do with this money, you need to actively persuade people round to your point of view. How you might have a word with your immediate supervisor first. Knowing a little about Them you guess that an argument to emotion would work best. You ask what do they need currently, and what is their most pressing emotion? Realizing that they've been irritated for a long time about picking up the slack of less qualified staff, you tailor your argument to appease this sense. If we all completed this training, it wouldn't only boost morale and build up team cohesion. It would also empower everyone with some new skills so we're better able to cope.

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You might not blatantly say, and that will lead to less work for you, but you're speaking to their emotion, irritation and arguing in a way they will likely hear and resonate with. You would dwell on the positive emotional benefits of your plan. Just think no more having to fix up other people's mistakes and present your argument as a solution to their pains. However, if you were speaking to a fellow colleague who already felt overburdened and might not be interested in taking on a new training program, you might decide to appeal to authority instead. Crucially, you have to think of who your colleague actually considers an authority. You decide to frame your argument as personal development and mention that their favorite self help guru recommends ongoing career development as a question of self respect and autonomy. Later on, when you have a chance to address the entire office, which constitutes a mixed group, you lean more heavily on an appeal to time, place and appropriateness Cairos and present a more generally appealing argument that will speak to everyone more broadly. Being keenly aware of your workplace's culture, you deliver an argument you know is in keeping with the overall tone, mood and style. It's likely in life that you'll have to make a compelling argument that includes elements of all these persuasive modes.

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In that case, here are a few tips to establish your credibility ethos lead with your genuine credentials, experience and expertise, and don't oversell them. If you cannot establish credibility yourself, refer to someone else who does have that authority. The best and most authentic way to appeal to pathos is to share your heartfelt and honest personal experiences. If they're unique to you and yet somehow speak to universal themes, all the better. Be mindful of not appearing emotionally manipulative, however, and try to steer clear of inciting guilt or fear in others. Another way to appeal to pathos is to be vulnerable. Share a secret, open up and go first. Emotionally speaking, it will create a sense of trust and shared humanity. Pathos can also be addressed by using vivid metaphors and colorful, even poetic language.

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If you're impassioned about something, share it. Let your raw enthusiasm and energy shine through. If your argument needs a little more logos, don't underestimate the power of some hard data, statistics, graphics, and concrete values. Money can be especially effective can make the point quickly and neutrally whatever mode you're using. Begin any message by capturing attention. Then consider closely what your audience need is and speak to that. Start with the problem. Outline your argument and then paint a vision of the future where they behave or believe as you'd like them to. I e.

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Their problem has been solved. Your argument is essentially a demonstration of why your idea is in fact, a way for them to get their needs met. The Office our final chapter focuses on a very specific form of communication communication in professional contexts and with colleagues and employers. It's not that the skills we've already explored don't apply they do. It's rather that the workplace requires additional rules of etiquette and formality that take extra consideration at work. Good communication is not just something nice to have so that people get along. Communication is nonnegotiable no matter what your role is or what work you're doing. Doing that work will depend at some point on how well you can share your own message and hear the messages of others. All the same considerations apply when thinking about verbal and nonverbal communication.

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But in the workplace, we have to consider the enormous role that both written and electronic communication plays too. Workplace Communication Etiquette etiquette sounds like a horribly old fashioned word, but the truth is, as social beings, we're always following some form of etiquette, whether we're aware of it or not. A simple dictionary definition says that etiquette is the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group. When talking to friends, family, or romantic partners, customary codes and politeness are still important. But it's in the workplace where communication is really stripped down to its most formal, impersonal and rule bound. Therefore, what makes you a good communicator at home or with friends will not necessarily make you a good communicator at work. When thinking about workplace communication, there are three things to consider the goal of communication the content of our communication, the way we communicate that content, also known as the medium. If you can correctly identify each of these three, you can more consciously communicate your message and hear other people's. If you're in a new workplace or are trying to deal with potential conflict or misunderstanding, it's worth slowing everything down and being very deliberate in the way you approach your communication.

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I. E. Don't expect to automatically know how to do the right thing. Step one let your goal decide your medium. It sounds unbelievable, but many people launch into an attempt at communication without actually knowing what they're trying to achieve or why. They may correctly perceive that there's a misunderstanding or know that some kind of connection needs to be made. But things are not defined any more clearly than that. Have you ever received a rambling email filled with all sorts of miscellaneous from a colleague and reached the end of it thinking, well, what was the point of all that? You were probably on the receiving end of someone who had not clarified their purpose and goal.

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Before attempting to communicate, you need to understand your reason for communicating let's say, for example, that you're requesting that a completed report be revisited. Since there are serious errors that now make the report unusable, you think you should get in touch with the team who drafted the report. But first you pause and think, what exactly are you trying to achieve? By asking that question, you take those actions and only those actions that will help you achieve that goal and cut down on the possibility of rambling, confusion, or misunderstanding. You decide that your goal is to draw attention to the errors and to thank the team, but politely request that they recompile it by a certain date so that you can use it as planned. Once you've identified this goal, you can allow it to inform your choice of medium I e. Via which channel you're going to communicate through. In this case, you decide that a properly written email sent to all members of the team will do the job. If your goal was simply to keep someone updated about a deadline or answer a quick question, a text message might have worked, as could literally popping your head into their office and telling them in passing.

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A more serious topic may warrant meeting in person with enough time to prepare beforehand. Here are a few more questions that may help you fine tune the kind of message you're going to send. Is there any urgency, or is the issue time sensitive in any way? Will the information be sensitive or confidential? How many people need to receive this message? Do you require a response to this message or not? If so, what kind is your goal with this communication? More general or more specific? What's the relationship between you and the receiver?

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Are they hierarchically, higher or lower than you, or are they appear? What exactly is the nature of your role regarding them? And what is the context of that relationship? In answering these questions and giving it some thought, you decide that you need to act quickly if you want to get your report redone. The information needs to go to five people in particular, but not to anyone else, as the material is confidential. You want to communicate very specific changes you wish to make and need to know that they've received and understood these details and that they can comply within the time frame. As you can see, you already have the framework of an effective message coming together. Step Two factor in your company's unique communication culture. You've identified the goal and the medium, but there may still be very specific ways of doing things that are unique to your company.

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to send a demanding email at: 01:00

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Company culture might be such that you're expected to make your own claims rather than appeal to the authority of some third party, or to focus on practical implementation rather than making a more academic presentation of the facts and figures, as you would with logos. Perhaps the most crucial considering will be Cairos or appropriateness. Think carefully about when you'll put forward your message and in what context. It may seem insignificant, but the time of year, month, day, or even minute can influence how well your message is received. The medium may also need to change depending on the best time of delivery. For example, you may wish to forego an email and wait until you can speak in person. In our example, if you imagine that you're in a medium sized but relatively relaxed work environment, you might send a properly worded but not overly formal email. Knowing your company's business, you understand that people value directness honesty and sincerity. And knowing the five people on the team, you approach the message simply and clearly, highlighting the mistake, but in a friendly and non confrontational way, and politely asking for their help rather than demanding or formally requesting their compliance.

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Step Three watch Your Tone this is the step where we take into account all the ordinary rules of communication we've already explored. Is your tone too aggressive or passive aggressive? Are there any assumptions, premature judgments, or inflexible attitudes that are getting in the way of meeting the goal? Ironically, in a professional communication, it's more important than ever to be emotionally aware and able to manage and harness emotions rather than letting them dominate or derail. In our example, you need to be aware of the fact that the people who've compiled the report may react defensively if they feel they're being attacked or unfairly criticized. You may also notice your own feelings of awkwardness, annoyance or guilt. None of these are a problem. However, if they're properly acknowledged, harnessed and managed, for example, you could bring awareness to this emotional reality, but control it and steer it to your own ends. I realize this is a little awkward, and I wasn't entirely sure how to approach the topic with you, but the references section on this report will need to be redone entirely.

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The rest of the port was extremely helpful. In addition, I'm glad we caught this error now, and the report has definitely given us the opportunity to slow down and rethink a few faulty assumptions we've been making it's a myth that professional workplace communication needs to be emotion free. Emotion has a place in every area of human life and always will. It's just that in the workplace, we are more deliberate about how that emotion plays out in the way we meet our goals. The above response acknowledges emotions without making them the sole determiner of behavior. Still, plenty of conflicts occur purely based on misunderstandings of tone. If you're unsure about how your email is coming across, get a colleague to read it and give you feedback. No matter the message, goal, or context, favor clarity and simplicity. The following checklist can help you stay on track.

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Is your message respectful? You don't have to agree, but are you conveying basic tact and courtesy to the other person's perspective? Is your message focused exclusively on meeting your goal? Have you avoided expressing negativity without suggesting any solution? Is your message professionally neutral? I e. Have you removed any personal opinions that could be divisive, offensive, or awkward? Have you taken care with the formatting details? This means proofreading text, enunciating clearly when you speak, and learning the appropriate titles for people or the right way to pronounce certain terms.

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The Seven C's of Effective Workplace Communication Granted, you'll not always have the opportunity to sit and carefully pre plan all your communication. Still, over time, with constant awareness of why you are communicating, what you are communicating, and how not to mention to whom, you'll gradually start to appreciate communication as a brilliant tool you can use to further your own ends. The seven C's are a useful set of principles that you can use to guide you as you improve your workplace communication skills. No, this doesn't mean you'll never be misunderstood or that people will always be cooperative. That's their part of the communication process, right? But it does make it far, far more likely. Clarity before you can hope to have the other person understand what you're saying, you need to have that clarity for yourself. Make sure to confirm that the other person has received the message by asking clarifying questions or even get them to paraphrase what they've heard you say. At the end of communication, both of you should feel that there are no uncertainties in the message that's been shared from either side.

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example, when you really mean: 05:00

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Softening hedging language you know, sort of if you know what I mean, maybe kind of can not only come across as unconfident and incompetent, it can also confuse your message. The more you say, the more there is to misunderstand. Go back over your message and see if you can extract the essence and get rid of the rest. Concrete, this means to be backed up by facts, or else real, solid, actual and specific. Basically, don't be vague. It's better to say the first five references were done incorrectly than the report could have used a little more polish. Correct. This refers both to the rules of language, grammar, spelling, syntax, but also to the rules of whatever format you're using. This is especially important if you're making an appeal to logos or want to convey a sense of your own authority and trustworthiness.

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Small inaccuracies can distract at best and completely undermine the message at worst. So in our example, double and triple check that you are in fact correct about the errors you found in the report consideration. You know what your goal is, but what is theirs? Politeness is a minimum, but apply all the same skills of listening and validation we've already covered to acknowledge and respect the other person's perspective. What is their communication style? What are they struggling with? And how can you make them feel heard and seen while at the same time getting them to understand you completeness this is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? You want to leave every conversation feeling as though what needed to be said has fully been said. An important detail is to make sure that you're ending by identifying next steps.

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What do you expect the other person to do? What will you do? Does everybody know what to expect of the other party and how and by when? It's a good idea to end every interaction with a recap and a call to action. I e summarize what happens next. Courtesy There is never, ever a need to be rude, confrontational, or aggressive. Even in disagreement or misunderstanding. We can conduct ourselves with civility and respect. In fact, seeking to connect with others becomes more important as confusion or negative feelings arise, not less.

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Courtesy is just what empathy and compassion look like in a professional workplace. In our example, courtesy is simply being polite enough to thank people for the report they've already compiled, finding a few words of positive feedback and signing off the email with warmth and friendliness. It's very simple, really. Thank people for everything their time, their attention, their contribution. Say please when you can and make space for people to respond without interruption, rushing, or judgment. Summary Persuasion is about trying to change or influence someone's mind, and it rests on knowing what that person's values, perspectives, and needs are so you can address them directly. According to Aristotle, the four main. Modes of persuasion are ethos appeal to authority, pathos appeal to emotion, logos appeal to reason, and Cairos making an argument at the right time and place. Good oration and rhetoric are not about which mode fits you or your message best, but knowing how to put your message in a form that the audience is most likely to hear.

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To speak to pathos, be vulnerable, or share a personal experience or even a secret. To speak to logos, use hard data and evidence or a deductive or inductive argument to speak to ethos, share genuine and relevant credentials. In all cases, try to understand your audience's emotional state, their perspective, and their most pressing need. Then present your message in terms that will appeal to them. Most. Workplace communication runs on all the same communication rules, but we have to consider the bigger role that written and electronic communication plays, too. Professional communication is more about appropriateness, politeness, custom, convention and formality. We need to consider the goal, content and medium to the message as well as the audience. First, clarify the reason for communication and let that decide the most appropriate medium.

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Factor in your company's unique communication culture and be mindful of your tone. Professional communication should follow the seven C's. It should be clear, concise, correct, concrete, considerate, complete and courteous. Thank you for listening to Social Skills Coaching. This episode has been brought to you by Newton Media Group and Patrick King. Check out Patrick King and get on his mailing list by visiting Bit Ly Pkconsulting and check us out@newtonmg.com. Join us next week for another episode in Social Skills Coach Ching, where you learn to be more likable, more charismatic, and more productive.