Free Association
If your mind goes blank, use a technique called free association to generate a response. These are words that immediately come to mind upon hearing something. For example, if someone talks about cats, practice free association with the provided exercises, and you’ll be able to come up with answers more quickly and easily. Conversation as a whole is just a series of interrelated responses and stories, so free association is practicing conversation flow.
Regardless of who you’re talking to, you’re likely to be asked the same set of generic questions. These include what do you do, how was your day, and others like these. You’ll want to have two separate answers prepared for such questions, one of which is interesting and unique (the layman explanation), while the other is more informative (the expert explanation). Being too esoteric upon first meeting someone isn’t always helpful, and can confuse and render others speechless.
Finally, learn to give good compliments. This is also deceptively easy. Compliment things that people have control over, or made a choice about. Don’t choose genetic qualities like height or eye color; instead choose things that people actively put effort into. People feel comfortable and flattered, and then start to open up.
The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King
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